That’s Your Plate Michelle, Not Mine!


The U.S. government has again taken its self-appointed role of telling americans what to eat seriously by investing more of our tax dollars on their newest guideline.  Thousands of rats bravely gave their lives in manipulated research, that only government sponsorship could conjure up, in order to bring you the MyPlate.

In another attempt to curb the rise in obesity among school children, this slick new graphic will reverse the U.S. health problems in no time flat.  It is quite confusing to me why the Obamas have invested so many resources while ignoring a tanking economy, record unemployment and countless wars in Mideast Asia on a draconian government sponsored health plan, when it is obvious that once this new graphic catches on, everyone will slim down, tone up and not need a doctor.

Our government has always known what’s best for us.  After all it was a dream of the founding fathers to design a school lunch, so boring and tasteless, that students would refuse to eat it.   That is a sound investment of american tax dollars in vegetables that are rotting in the cafeteria trash cans.  Like the Obamas, our founders knew that the only way to make children healthy is to force them eat healthy food then force them to purchase a government sponsored health plan that will be as reliable as Social Security.   The next wise usage of our tax dollars will be to hire Cafeteria Marshalls to physically cram the food down their little throats.

Was it James Madison’s idea, when framing our Constitution, that the government should be the arbiter of how the american people should eat?   Believe it or not, the american people were once free to make these decisions on their own.  Had Madison the warnings of modern food corporations, he may have penned the first amendment to read: “A well-regulated diet, being necessary to stay alive, the right of the people to keep the greedy-ass government’s special interests off of their plates, should not be infringed.”.   Unfortunately, Mr. Madison did not see this coming.  So, why won’t these children eat this food that the government has deemed healthy and when did the government decide to take over our meal planning?

The answer to the first part is easiest; because they have removed any traces of natural fat from all of the food and use filler, like soybean or some other low-fat meat or egg substitute; at worst it taste like crap and at best, has no taste at all.  With no fat, it is not satiating and they know they’ll just be hungry in an hour or so anyway.  The food is most likely loaded with so much bran fiber, that the poor tikes know they’ll spend all of third period on the toilet.  Then they have to wash it all down with skim milk – an unnatural beverage that even hogs turn their noses up at.

The second question is a little more complicated, but the founders certainly never entertained the idea of taking away a parent’s freedom of choice concerning what food their children eat.  There were plenty of less fortunate people, who lived below the poverty line throughout U.S. history.   They had little choice than to attempt to exist on beans and rice, and their health suffered as a result of the low nutrition available without complete protein and fat.  The government’s answer was to have us all eat that way.  Let me give a little more history on how this happened.

From 1776 until 1976, government made no recommendations on what americans should eat, and for those 200 years, children above the poverty line were healthy, active and childhood obesity was so rare that it was actually embarrassing to be the fat kid on the playground.   Is it simply a coincidence that school desks needed to be reinforced to support the weight of a rhino about the same time the government began doling out nutritional advice?   Just how and when did the government take charge of our food choices?

In 1968, the McGovern Committee was formed to investigate and improve the growing malnutrition  in the U.S., these were those poor people who attempted on live on grains and starch.  By 1974, the committee had improved upon those problems and George McGovern decided to expand the scope of the committee to address the over-eaters as well as the under-eaters.  He felt that the government could reduce the incidence of diseases, especially heart disease (which was a fraction of what it is today), by creating a government standard for the american diet.   The USDA pyramid would later be based on guidelines set forth by the McGovern committee.

That diet included sugar laden meals, which endorsed over-consumption of starchy, government subsidized grains.  6 to 11 servings of these hybrid seeds could range from bread, pasta, donuts, bagels, cup cakes, pizza crust, chips, macaroni, and a whole host of baked goods and confections.  Corn was included in the vegetable category, even though it’s actually another starchy grain (double jeopardy).   The fact that grains, especially wheat, were a major commodity used in the triangular negotiations between the U.S., U.S.S.R. and China during the Nixon Administration at the height of the “Cold War”, I’m sure had nothing to do with the USDA’s proliferation of grain through government subsidizing (add sarcasm here).

These grains became more important to the health of the U.S. economy than to the health of the american people.  Suddenly, all of the research funded by the U.S. government showed that grains were essential to human health, even though humans had existed millions of years prior to consuming them.  Now we were expected to increase our daily intake fourfold, which was quite easy as thousands of new snack foods, chips and cereals were hitting the market every day.  Grain commodities grew nearly as quickly as the american waistlines as those all-important extra servings of grains could be crammed into the american diet by lots of snacking.  Whereas the poorer people attempted to live on the starches alone, the well-to-do now added all that starch to a diet already rich in dietary fat, protein and carbohydrates, thereby increasing their overall calories to insane levels with all the high carbohydrate snacking between meals.

By the new millennium, americans were fatter and sicker than ever.  The fast sugar spike of these starchy snacks would send the blood sugar crashing every two hours, increasing hunger and appetite.  Would the government now have to admit that their silly pyramid was at fault?  Of course not!  The american people had to be convinced that they had somehow increased their intake of saturated fat, even though butter and lard consumption was a fraction of what it was in the 1970s, because the McGovern Committee had convinced them into giving up the fat in exchange for more grains.   With the help of the media and filmmakers, like Morgan Spurlock, fast food was an easy target – and not just all fast food, but particularly that beef paddy, with all its saturated fat.  Forget the fact that the average fast-food meal is actually a high carbohydrate affair, served with mounds of potatoes, wheat buns and a huge sugary soda; it just had to be that greasy burger causing all of our ills.

It would appear that americans understood the pyramid well and were eager to heed its advice and wash down fat-free foods with low-fat beverages, yet somehow they continued to get fatter and heart disease and diabetes became our biggest killers.  Americans were told that they are unique in the world of mammals.  Whereas grains are the farmer’s choice for fattening livestock for slaughter, the government scientists have claimed that humans get thinner the more grains that they eat (I guess we’re aliens) – and when has the U.S. government ever lied to its people?  The problem was not the USDA pyramid, but the stupid american people’s ability to understand it.

So, Mrs. Obama and the USDA felt the need for a face lift and were willing to spare no expense (2 million tax dollars) in updating it to something more relevant.  Given the fact that few people eat off of plates anymore (microwaveable styrofoam and cardboard containers), I fail to see the relevancy.   Not only was this damned pyramid too hard to understand, but  Mrs. Obama knew that it was no longer hip, because her design was going to be colorful and contemporary – like MySpace (no one told her that MySpace was yesterday’s news and has crumpled to a lurking ground for pedophiles and Facebook was what was in).

I personally felt that the pyramid was a perfect icon for the government dietary recommendations.  After all, it is the symbol of a tomb and also the shape which represents a now illegal business scam.  A scam and a tomb; what could be more befitting of this disease promoting advice?   But Michelle has educated me that it wasn’t poor nutritional advice that was designed to maximize agribusiness profits, but just the fact that it was not cool and far too complex and confusing.

So the USDA simplified the main course by removing the word “Meat” and replaced it with “Protein”.   Now our children can drop all that nasty meat, with all its fat, vitamin B12 and iron and replace it with low-fat beans!  Our children can fart their way to a slimmer physique and be excused from class with their bi-hourly bowel movements.  We no longer have to worry about the youth of america attempting to smoke, because with all that methane gas around, they dare not strike a match!   Then they can also avoid that dangerous cancer-causing sun because of their pale complexions, resulting from their induced anemia from lack of B12, iron and blood loss from their bleeding colons and spend far more time inside on their gamestations.

By design, this new MyPlate is even more vague than the pyramid and leaves a lot to interpretation, which is great for corporate profits (and her husbands re-election fundraising).  Roll your mouse over the portions on my version of the MyPlate below to see how I believe people will adhere to it. (also roll over the MyPlate text at the bottom to reveal its real name):

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Not that americans will make these assumptions on their own – they will get plenty of direction from manufacturers who will use the government guidelines to make their highly processed swill appear healthy.   If you don’t believe me, take a look at the images below.

Both Chef Boyardee and Manwich have run ads boasting that their products equate to a full serving of vegetables.  The GMO vegetables within this toxic cocktail have been torched to within an inch of its life.  If there ever were any nutrients in these foods at the start, it has been well destroyed by all the excessive heating, grinding and pressing.  Then it will have a whole host of preservatives and partially hydrogenated vegetable oils (trans fat) added and ultimately be heated for pasteurization within a tin can coated in Bisphenol A (BPA).  And let’s not forget the secret ingredient in all processed food – plenty of sugar!  We are being embalmed by all the chemicals within this glop, which brings to mind the picture of a mummy, which is found in a pyramid – still the appropriate icon, in my opinion.

No matter how adulterated these processed foods become, as long as they once resembled an actual whole food product a long time ago, far down the assembly line, our government will credit them with fulfilling one of their recommended servings.  This is the same government that classified pizza sauce as a serving of vegetables – as they also did Ketchup.  If you take a look at what’s served in the school cafeterias today you will see plenty of highly processed crap containing the suggested staples put forth in the pyramid and newly updated MyPlate.  It may not be long before we see something like this marketed towards americans:

How much longer will these just remain recommendations?   Some cities have now begun to mandate that children no longer bring lunches from home, but must eat the refuse of hotdogs and tater tots ladled out in the school lunch program.  A gruel that even Oliver Twist would dare not ask for more.  When government can enforce what kinds of food we can eat, we are in much bigger trouble than we are now.

Remember, this is the Obamas we’re talking about.  The same people who brought us government mandated health insurance.  Barack Obama believes that it his position as President to mandate anything he believes is best for us (or more accurately for the special interest who financed his election).  Obama is not unique in this, but he does seem more aggressive than most due to his popularity.  You can bet that whoever follows him, Democrat or Republican, will continue this assault on your right to real food.

Do we really need government to tell us what’s best for us?  Freedom includes freedom to do the wrong thing.  Who among us is wise enough to make the decision for the entire populace?  Though I agree with Dr. Lustig that sugar is at the heart of most health problems, including diabetes, I am in complete disagreement with Dr. Lustig’s proposal that sugar should be banned, over-taxed (a sin tax) or forbidden in any way.  I simply believe that people should be given the truth concerning their safety (just like with smoking, drinking or drugs) and if people still choose to consume them, then so be it.  Prohibition only creates crime and an underworld to supply the demand.

As it stands now, we have not been given the truth concerning the dangers of sugar and the heavy starches and toxic proteins in grains, beans and legumes.  On the reverse side, we have been given false information and bogus dangers concerning the safety of meat and raw dairy.  These lies are perpetuated by the powerful agribusiness, bioengineering companies (Monsanto), cereal companies and other food manufacturers.

The U.S. government will continue to chip away at the last freedoms we inherited, right down to the very morsels we can eat.  Once the government declared smoking a public health risk, they were able to tax the living hell out of it and place bans on it wherever they wanted.  You may agree and feel it was warranted and maybe so, but it also opened the floodgates of what the government can deem a health risk and tax it out of existence or outright ban it.

You may say that there were inherent risks of second-hand smoke and I will agree, but that has not stopped the government from placing bans on organic farm produce and raw milk co-ops, including cow-shares.  Though you may not agree with raw dairy consumption and casually stood by as petitions were offered for its protection – the government has now used this ban to seize all produce delivered to co-ops, farmer’s markets and tossed thousands of dollars worth of organically grown produce into landfills.

It will not end here as any food can be deemed by the government as a health threat, with no proof of contamination – only suspicion.  Entire herds of goats and sheep have been seized and destroyed in the U.S. by simply claiming a suspicion of disease (Mad Cow).  It will be soon that the CDC will not allow any foods that are not irradiated (cold pasteurization) or sterilized in some other manner to be sold.  This will be the final nail in the coffin of the small family farms.  The agenda of this government is for the large food corporations and bioengineering companies to have complete control of the food supply.  If you believe we are seeing poor health in the U.S. now, it will be ten times worse when Monsanto runs it all.

Health experts have already predicted a shortening of the human life-span based on the present rates of diabetes, Celiac Disease, Crohn’s Disease, Autism and all other types of diseases (including cancer) reaching record highs in children.  When americans no longer have access to whole, unadulterated farm foods this experiment of GMOs and sterile food could fail on a global scale.

I hope that americans will soon wake up and mandate that the government get out of the nutrition business while we still can.  Grain commodities will always be more important to bureaucrats than the health of your family.  The USDA is quite comfortable in the deep pockets of the grain and soybean industries and show their favor through huge subsidies.  I’m not suggesting that the government officials know that these foods are unhealthy.  They are brain-washed by the ad marketing from the bioengineering and agribusiness companies too and feel it is just convenient that they are profitable to the U.S. economy and healthy for the people.  They even feed them to their own families.  But such a highly processed carbohydrate diet has proven disastrous to our health care system.

Before the government got into the diet business, americans were much healthier making their own decisions based on family traditions.  Sure, there were still people suffering from obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer, but it was much, much less than we have today and far fewer than we will have in the future.

5 Responses to That’s Your Plate Michelle, Not Mine!
  1. Jean
    December 9, 2011 | 7:25 pm

    We the Sheeple are really unable to deal with freedom (no joke). We USED to be able to, but we live in a time where les enfants terrible want LICENSE (rights without responsibilities}.
    Thus it will remain until enough people are willing to spill blood.

    Pity, really, but it’s the way of all empires.

  2. Jean Bush
    March 3, 2014 | 1:36 pm

    Utterly brilliant, as usual.

    The weaker, sicker, broker and more confused we are, the easier we can be controlled.

    • Wolverine
      March 7, 2014 | 7:48 pm

      Thank you Jean. You are absolutely right, it’s all about control.

      Sorry I took so long to reply, I was really broken up by another comment about a woman who slowly died after forming a blood clot from a colonoscopy. Those type stories really hit home, because I formed a clot from the colonoscopy and was ignored for three days, unlike that woman, I somehow survived – I shouldn’t have and I’ll never understand why.

    September 13, 2016 | 10:20 am

    Well, now I am thinking of getting a pizza. That’s all your fault. Just kidding. Thanks for that idea.

    • Wolverine
      September 13, 2016 | 5:05 pm

      Well, at least if you eat the pizza, you will have met your daily requirement of vegetables for the day — at least according to the US government. Take care and stay healthy.

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